Mistaken Identity
by carolnegate
Summary: Pre-movie: a new reporting team has come to Metro City, and Roxanne isn't happy about it.  How will Metro Man react to the new reporter, Janet?  What will happen to Megamind when there is a case of mistaken identity?  When will I stop asking questions?
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my first fanfic on this wonderful site! It's not the first fic I've written, but rather the first one I got around to putting up and the first one I'm serious about finishing. I'll hurry to put up the next chapter ASAP, but considering how wildly my college workload deviates, it could take anywhere between two days and two months. I'm trying my best to finish this story before the start of November, though. It'll be a two-shot or three-shot, nothing too long.**

**Pairings are what you would expect from seeing the movie, with the added twist of throwing a couple OC's in.**

**I write for my own enjoyment, for the enjoyment of others, and for my personal growth as a writer. Therefore, this story isn't making me any money. If you insist on paying me anyways, you can do so though constructive criticism.**

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><p>It was quiet day in Metro City. Well, as quiet as a day in that city could get. Burglars breaking into a jewelry store at night and getting caught by an alien superhero wasn't part of the usual norm, but in a place where good and evil fought city-wide battles on a regular basis, this was a relatively tame event for Roxanne Ritchi to report on. She knew her interviews would be relatively straight-forward and simple – typical Metro-Man-saves-the-day material. Hal didn't have any problems parking the van on the same block as the store.<p>

When the two of them exited the van and approached the scene of the crime, Roxanne realized that something was very wrong. For one thing, Metro Man was still there. It was at least six hours since he had captured the criminals, so he should have gone back to patrolling the city a long time ago. Secondly, someone was interviewing him, and that someone wasn't her. It was a blonde woman wearing a set of tight khakis over her skinny legs and a ruffly top that was just a few millimeters away from being inappropriate for public television. She would have looked gorgeous if she'd used a fifth of the makeup she was currently wearing.

Roxanne rushed towards the scene as fast as she could in high-heels. Hal yelled at her something about waiting for him to get the camera ready, but she wasn't particularly interested in him at the moment. She was struggling to catch the sounds of the interview.

"So, after hearing the alarm with my super-hearing, I flew into the shop just in time to see the two thieves grabbing up the last of the diamond earrings. Once they realized I'd caught them, they gave up the game pretty quick. The police showed up to take them to prison a few minutes later."

The blondie gave a giggle that was usually heard from small children. "Oh, Metro Man, you're so brave!"

And then, believe it or not, Metro Man _blushed_. Roxanne stopped in her tracks when she noticed the red coming into his cheeks. "Thanks, Miss. I was just doing my duty to the citizens of Metro City."

The reporter flashed an over-white smile to her camera. "And there you have it, folks. Once again, our superhero saves the day, and those meanie burglars get put behind bars. We're all _so_ lucky to have someone like Metro Man looking out for us. Back to you, Roy."

The cameraman pressed a few buttons and lowered his camera, revealing his thick tortoiseshell glasses and his face of acne to the world. A set of braces showed when he smiled. "That was great, Janet. We'll be getting promoted in no time."

She giggled in that childish way again. "I know, right?" Then she turned back to Metro Man. "Thanks so much for the interview, Mega Man!"

The superhero winced slightly, but Roxanne could see how much he was hiding it from his new associate. "It's Metro Man, honey." _Honey?_ "There's a supervillain in town called Megamind, and I'd hate for you to get our names confused."

"Okay!" Roxanne wondered how much coffee the girl drank to get her into such an excited state. "I'll see you tomorrow, Metro Man!"

Said hero gave her a silent salute and then launched himself into the sky. Roxanne watched him fly off for a few seconds before resuming the angry approach on her competitors. As she drew nearer, however, she noticed a familiar design on Janet's microphone – the very same one on the mic in her hand. She recognized the news van parked behind the cameraman.

"You two work for KMCP?" she asked.

Janet glanced over to her, looking confused for a second, then her face lit up, as if it had taken her a few seconds to realize that was the name of her employer. "Uh-huh! We just started working there. I'm Janet."

The cameraman waved a little and mumbled a soft "Hi."

"Oh, and this is Marvin," Janet added. "We just did an interview with a superhero! Isn't that amazing?"

"Stunning," Roxanne deadpanned. " Listen, about that… you're new to this station, so I can understand how you don't know this, but I'm usually the one who conducts all the interviews with Metro Man."

Janet tilted her head to the side. "Really? But I got a call this morning telling me to interview the superhero about the robbery last night. Did they tell you about it?"

"No," Roxanne replied as she grabbed her cell phone out of her pocket. Upon flipping it open, she noticed that she had a new text message from the news station. _Sorry for short notice, we're letting some new blood do the MM interview this morning. Check back later in case Megs plots something_.

Roxanne sighed and put her phone away. "Sorry, I didn't know."

"That's okay," Janet replied cheerfully. "I sometimes don't know what people want me to do either. This one time, I was working on a report in college, and the professor was totally-"

"I'm sure I'd love to hear the rest of that story," Roxanne interrupted. "But you should probably be going. The new reporters usually have to do the reports on construction, and they're going to start a major road construction project on South Street this afternoon. You should get down there before the traffic starts clogging up."

"Really?" Janet said in a chirpy voice. "Thanks for the tip! We'll head over there right away. Won't we, Marvin?"

Marvin sighed a little, his smile slipping downwards a little bit. "Yes, Janet."

"Good. Let's go!" the blonde reporter cheered, skipping off to her news van. Roxanne rolled her eyes as soon as Janet's back was turned. She wondered how likely it was that the new recruit would be fired before they could meet again.

Marvin nervously fidgeted with the camera in his hands, staring at the ground though his nerdy glasses. He mumbled something too quiet to understand, then he turned around and fled to his van before Roxanne could ask him to repeat himself.

As Marvin walked around the van to take the driver's seat, Janet rolled down the passenger-side window. "I'll see you back at the news place!" she announced at the van started to pull away from the curb. Roxanne watched them as they drove down the street, turned left at the end of the block, and drove out of sight.

Roxanne sighed in mild annoyance. She wasn't sure what it was about Janet that drove her up the wall – maybe it was the brain the size of a golf ball or the voice that could communicate with dolphins – but she never had any intent of meeting that reporting team ever again. For once, there was an upside to living in the same city as a blue supervillain with a tendency to wreck buildings and destroy public property. Janet would spend all her time covering the eternal reconstruction projects, and thus Roxanne wouldn't have to worry about having another nerve-grating conversation with that ditz.

"You look so hot when you're annoyed."

Roxanne stumbled a few steps away from the voice in surprise. While she was lost in her thoughts, Hal had taken the opportunity to sneak up behind her and get into an uncomfortably close proximity. "Excuse me?" she said.

"I mean, uh, you look really annoyed that it's so hot," Hal said as he struggled to save face. He casually took a few steps backwards to give her a polite amount of space. "The weatherman said this heat wave should have ended by now. I'm annoyed too."

She didn't bother to correct him that she wasn't offended by his words. She understood how he felt about her, but she wasn't going to scold him for feelings no one really had any control over. At least he was making an attempt to backpedal and be more professional about things. Just because she wasn't willing to punish him for his advances didn't mean she wasn't annoyed by them.

"So, that girl was sent to cover the story instead of us?" Hal asked, attempting to change the subject. "I don't get it. We always get the Metro Man stories."

"They're new workers for the station," she replied. "I guess the executives wanted to give her a chance to prove herself."

"That doesn't make any sense!" Hal exclaimed. "Everything sounds cool when Metro Man does it. That's why all the new guys get put on the construction stories, right? If they can make road work sound interesting, then the execs know they'll sound amazing when they report on bank robberies. That's why the station started putting us on the Metro Man stories. You've worked years to get all these exciting things to report on. What gives them the right to hand off your job to the new guys who haven't done anything yet?"

"Thanks, Hal," Roxanne responded, grateful that she wasn't the only one who was annoyed with the situation. There were times like this when Hal could be truly sweet and considerate. Unfortunately, they were too often interspaced with creepy displays of affection that ensured she would never be interested in him. "We should probably get back to the news station," she continued. "If Megamind doesn't plan on kidnapping me today, we might get to report on a couple events."

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><p>Megamind's breakout plan was ingenious on multiple levels.<p>

He'd been moved to a new, ultra-secure cell recently. There was exactly one way in and out, and it was constantly being monitored by at least three different people at any given moment. His only connection to the outside world was a television screen mounted above the door and a remote he could use to change the channel. The walls resembled those of a preschool room, with flowers and ponies painted all over them. The complex background would make it more difficult to camouflage himself, which was the method he used to escape last time.

The warden assumed that the alien genius would take apart the TV, cobble together a ray gun from the parts, and escape the cell within twenty-four hours. But, Megamind was no fool. He wasn't about to destroy one of his only sources of entertainment at the prison. If he ever used that TV in one of his escape plans, they would take it down, so there was a surprising lack of ray-gun-building the first night.

Instead, he simply took the remote apart and put it back together. The warden and multiple guards examined it to make sure he hadn't just built an escape device from it, but they needn't have worried. He wasn't going to use the remote as an escape weapon. Instead, he used it to secretly transmit some new escape plans to Minion.

Four days passed while Minion prepared the components of the plan. Megamind waited patiently, toying with the warden every once and a while, watching TV, and silently planning out his next evil scheme. After the third day, the guards began to fall into a false sense of security. This was the only time since Megamind's first big fight with Metro Man that they'd managed to keep him in the prison for longer than seventy hours. Perhaps the ultra-secure cell would finally end his string of break-outs.

This left the guards unprepared when Minion walked in on the morning of the fifth day brandishing the Forget-Me-Stick. Minion thought it was rather rude to knock out all the guards and steal their keys and that it was very plain as escape plans went. Megamind explained to him that the simplicity was what made this escape so ingenious – this was the exact same method he used during his first successful break-out. He couldn't help but grin whenever he imagined the look of rage on the warden's face when he realized Megamind had escaped the new cell with a plan he'd already used.

The first thing they did when they returned to the lair was relax for a few hours and catch up on all the latest Metro Man sightings. Five days without a villain to fight had given Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes plenty of chances to show his heroism in other ways. He had rescued cats from trees, put out fires, and given a couple inspiring speeches to the citizens of Metrocity. Megamind's escape hadn't reached the public ear yet, and that was great news in itself. He had the element of surprise, but he needed to work fast to keep it.

"We're going to capture Miss Ritchi again," he explained to his brainbots. "The internet tells me that Metro Man arrested a pair of jewelry-thieves last night. Naturally, Roxanne will be reporting on this incident. Capture her after her report is over and bring her back to the lair. Make sure no one, not even her cameraman, sees you take her."

As the swarm of brainbots flew off, Minion couldn't help but asking his master a question. "Sir, don't we usually kidnap Miss Ritchi ourselves? Do the brainbots know how to do it?"

"Of course they know what to do," Megamind countered. "They've seen us do it countless times. They'll be able to handle it. Meanwhile, we can fine-tune the last-minute details of my plan. For instance, we need to make some adjustments to the Chair of Torture."

Minion looked at Megamind quizzically. "Nothing meant by this, sir, but the Chair doesn't scare Miss Ritchi anymore. Isn't it about time we scrap it?"

"That's exactly why it needs the modifications, Minion!" Megamind replied, an evil grin plastered onto his face. "If this next idea doesn't make Roxanne scream, then I'll turn the Chair into a pool table or something. But for now, get me a 7-16th wrench, a blowtorch, two C-clamps, and a box of donuts."

"On it, sir!"

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><p>A certain cameraman navigated the car carefully, trying to read the street signs without slowing down or accidentally swerving off the road. He wasn't that good at driving, and he could never understand why some people liked to do it to relax. However, the first time he let Janet drive a car with him inside it, they almost ended up at the bottom of a lake. He swore he would never repeat that mistake again, even if it meant driving her everywhere through a strange city with streets he barely recognized while Janet talked his ears off about how hot Metro Man was and how lucky they were to get an interview with him.<p>

He was relieved when he finally made it to South Street. He had no idea how he got there, but at least he could take a break and get her to talk to someone besides him. He parked the van at a coffee shop about half a block from the construction site. "We can walk the rest of the way," he told her. "You find someone to interview, and I'll be with you as soon as my camera's ready."

Janet flashed him a wide, artificially-white smile. "Okey-dokey, artichokey!" She exited the van, slammed the door shut behind her, and began her merry walk to her next news story.

He unbuckled his seatbelt and slumped down in his car seat. He rubbed his tired eyes, trying to figure out why he became Janet's cameraman in the first place. He took up her offer for this job a few months ago, back when they were both fresh out of college. It wasn't as if he was able to say no to her – he thought she was the hottest thing on two legs, and he always had problems talking around attractive women. While he still couldn't bring himself to tell her to shut up already about Metro Man, the infatuation was definitely wearing off. Right now, his annoyance at her fawning admiration of the superhero was outweighing his attraction to her.

He took a few deep breaths to calm his heated nerves before opening the van door. He grabbed his camera from the back seat and looked down the street to see which of the construction workers she wanted to talk to. At first, he couldn't spot her, so he approached the construction site and looked over the area more thoroughly.

"Janet?" he called hesitantly. She was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Janet? Where are you?"

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><p>On the way back to the station, Roxanne noticed something unusual flying through the air. It was a squad of about seven or eight brainbots. Seeing them was a regular occurrence for this particular reporter, but the strange part was that they were carrying off someone else besides her. A sack was secured over the captive's head, but she recognized the barely-TV-appropriate ruffled top.<p>

"Hal, we have a problem. I think there's been a case of mistaken identity."

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><p><strong>There you have it. While I'm not going to take the route of, "I'll update when I have X reviews," reviews are still appreciated! They'll motivate me to finish sooner because I'll know people are waiting for me. Constructive criticism is the best kind of review because it will not only motivate me, but it will motivate me to do better.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome to the second chapter. It looks like I'm keeping on top of my schedule, so I should have the entire story up before November. Maybe. I hope. I'm pretty sure this is going to be a four-chapter story, though. When I said "two or three", I didn't know how much space this main scene of this chapter would take up.**

**I'm sending out a big thanks to all my reviewers - you guys are the ones responsible for motivating me to get this chapter up so soon.**

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><p>Megamind and his Minion had a wonderful partnership system going. Megamind concerned himself with the big picture – the inventions, escape plans, and kidnappings – while Minion focused on the logistic details like cleaning the lair and making sure his master didn't forget to eat during one of his frenzied-inventing spells. Megamind spent most of his free time cooking up evil plots and planning over-the-top theatrics. Minion, on the other hand, worked on a very long list of chores. It was a thankless job, but he knew that Megamind appreciated his work even if he never actually got around to saying "thank you" every once and a while.<p>

However, this didn't mean that Minion never got a chance to participate in the evil schemes. Far from it – it was his job to get Miss Ritchi into position while his boss finished setting the stage for his performance. Thus, Minion was the first person to see the brainbots fly her into the lair, and he was the first person to realize that something was wrong.

"Sir?" he called out as the brainbots set down their captive on the floor of the lair. This woman was far too thin to be their usual hostage. The Knockout Spray was apparently wearing off a little bit, since she shifted and moaned in a voice that was obviously not Roxanne's. "Sir?"

"What, Minion?" Megamind looked up from the controls to the Chair of Torture, a welding mask still on his face. He flipped the mask up, looking a bit concerned.

"I think we might have a problem," Minion admitted. "The brainbots took the wrong person."

"What?" Megamind exclaimed, dashing over to the form on the floor. She wriggled a bit more, struggling against the rope binding her wrists behind her back. The sack was still over her head, but neither of the villains dared to remove it when she was a stranger in the middle of their lair. As Minion had noted, Megamind confirmed there was no way this woman could be Roxanne. She liked to dress nicely, but this low-cut ruffle-top was pushing things too far. Roxanne didn't stoop to using her femininity to attract a larger audience.

"Well, that about ruins this evil plan," Megamind groaned, taking off the mask and tossing it to the side. "Is there any chance we can still get Metro Man to come to the rescue?"

Minion shrugged. "He's the good guy, so he'll still have to save her, even if she isn't Miss Ritchi. Besides, this break we've given him shows that he does more with his life than saving Roxanne."

"True," Megamind pondered. "And he wouldn't stop until he found…whoever this girl is. With his X-ray vision, it would only be a matter of time before-"

"Hello?" the woman spoke up. "Is anyone there? Can someone turn on the lights?"

Megamind's face lit up with the radiance of a new idea. "No, we're going to turn the lights _off_." He faced Minion, his green eyes twinkling in excitement. "Minion, Stick it to her. We're going to need a few more minutes to do some research on our new hostage, but when we finally set the cogs in motion, even Metro Man will be paralyzed in fear at my awesome genius!"

"Right away, sir," Minion responded. He snatched the Forget-Me-Stick off a nearby table and gave the woman's head a solid whack.

Janet wasn't sure how long she'd been unconscious, or even how she got that way in the first place. One minute, she was debating whether it was worth it to walk into the muddy construction site and ruin her favorite pair of shoes. The next, she was waking up in an uncomfortable metal chair. Her eyes blinked open, but she couldn't see a thing. The entire room was shrouded in inky darkness. She tried to move, but her wrists were bound behind her back.

"Where…where am I?" she wondered. "H-hello?"

A spotlight clicked on above, sending a blinding shaft of light down over her. She stupidly looked up to the source of the light, trying to see if anyone was there, but she couldn't spot anything through the intense brightness.

"Wonderful morning, isn't it?" a sinister voice spoke casually behind her.

She jumped a little in surprise, wildly glancing about, but she was too blinded by the spotlight to see anything. Her heart began to pound in fear. "Who's there?"

A light chuckle came from somewhere far away to her right. Then, the voice suddenly teleported to a few inches away from her left ear, dropping to a terrible whisper. "I go by many names. The monster in your closet," the source shifted again to somewhere above her head, "That person following you as you walk down the street alone at night," now directly in front of her, a few steps away, "but I mostly go by the name of…"

Another spotlight turned on, illuminating a blue man with a grotesquely enlarged head. A death-black cape and collar hung on his shoulders and his hands were raised to the sky like an alien god. "Megamind! Incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy!"

Janet did what many people would do in that situation. She screamed, her already-high voice pitching higher into a tone of pure fright.

Megamind broke into a full-hearted evil laugh, relishing the fact that he was finally able to scare someone into such a level of panic. He might have gotten Roxanne to do it the first few times he kidnapped her, but those days were long since gone. This new captive was giving him a refreshing taste of what he'd been missing.

When Janet stopped screaming, she continued to gasp in fear for a few seconds. Megamind took this opportunity to start explaining his evil scheme. "I'm sure you're wondering why I've decided to kidnap you of all people," he began, taking a more casual pose. He strode calmly towards the lair's monitor station, the spotlight following him as he went. "After all, I usually kidnap Roxanne Ritchi whenever I need to get Metro Man's attention. However, I saw something very interesting on the news today."

He pressed a few buttons at the monitor controls. A video feed appeared on the screens, depicting her recent interview of Metro Man. Their voices were played on a set of speakers lodged in the ceiling, and her voice echoed strangely in the large space.

"Oh, Metro Man, you're so brave!"

The superhero's resulting blush was obvious. "Thanks, Miss. I was just doing my duty to the citizens of Metro City."

Megamind pressed another button and the monitors returned to darkness. "Metro Man seems to have taken a fancy to you," he explained. "Roxanne isn't the only woman he cares about anymore. This is why I've captured you, on purpose, and brought you here to my Evil Lair."

Janet was now trembling, her blue eyes wide in fright. "What are you going to do to me?" she asked nervously.

Megamind shrugged and a malicious grin crept onto his face. "Oh, nothing much. I simply want to try out some new features I've just added to the Chair of Torture. Where did I put it again? Oh, that's right. You're sitting in it."

Janet gasped and tried once more in vain to escape from her bonds. Megamind chuckled evilly at her struggle. Why couldn't he get Roxanne to act this way in front of him anymore?

Janet gave up her struggles, but her mind continued to race in fear. This was the most frightened she'd ever been – worse than any final exam or job interview. Only one thought kept her from completely flipping out.

"The, the superhero will save me!" she cried out. "Yeah, Metro Man will find me, and rescue me, and kick your butt!"

The alien supervillain cocked an eyebrow. "Yes, that_ is_ the general sequence of events, isn't it?" He took a few strides over to another control panel, one with various levers, switches, and flashing buttons. "However, you seem to be missing a few crucial facts. One is that Metro Man hasn't yet realized that you're missing. Two, I've made sure my lair is too dark for him to use his x-ray vision to see us. The only other way he's been able to find Roxanne is by using his super-smell to sniff her out."

Megamind nonchalantly flicked a couple switches on the control board. "This brings me to your third and final error. You two don't use the same perfume. He'll have to search Metrocity by hand to find you…and by then, who knows what I'll have done to you?"

Before Janet could figure out what a "metrocity" was, a hole in the floor suddenly opened up underneath her. She let out a small scream and squeezed her eyes shut in terror. She braced herself for a few seconds, but when she realized nothing was happening, she reopened her eyes. She hadn't fallen to her death . Leaning a little to the side, she looked down the hole to find the chair sitting on a small pillar. Even if the pillar wasn't there to support her, there was a pool of greenish water a few feet down to break her fall.

She breathed a sigh of relief. Then, a huge monster jumped out at her from the water. She yelped and jerked back just in time to see an enormous alligator snap at the space where her head used to be.

She had only a few seconds to take this in before Megamind pressed a large blue button on his control panel. With a slight jerk, the pillar began to descend, bringing her closer to the alligator pool. She snuck another look down the pit, shocked to discover not one, but three of the beasts writhing in the water.

Janet let out another strident scream. "Stop it! I'll do anything you want, just get me out of here!"

Megamind was having more fun than he'd had in months – probably years. "You want me to stop now?" he said in a tone of mock hurt. "We're just getting started!" He glanced up to the source of the two spotlights. "Do it, Minion."

Minion, from his position in the rafters managing the lights, decided it was probably unhealthy for his boss's grin to stretch that wide. Still, he obeyed his cue and flicked the main power switches on both spotlights.

The entire lair was once again plunged into thick darkness. Suddenly aware of the intensifying splashing sounds below, Janet found herself paralyzed in terror. The only thoughts that entered her head were ones of fear. When something wet and scaly brushed against her legs, she lost all control of herself.

"Help!" she shouted as loud as she could. "Someone help me!"

"No one can hear you," Megamind said, well aware that the one person he was waiting for could very well hear her cries.

"Metro Man, save me!" she screamed.

A loud crash from the ceiling sent a rain of rubble into the lair. A hole appeared in the darkness, a shaft of sunlight illuminating the form of Metro Man soaring to the rescue. Before Megamind or his Minion could respond, the superhero swooped down, snatched Janet out of the Chair, and set her down on the other side of the lair.

"No one threatens defenseless women in my town and gets away with it," Metro Man announced.

Megamind was perfectly ready for the appearance of his arch-nemisis. "Your town?" he smiled. "Who says Metrocity is 'your town'? It's just as much mine as anyone else's."

"I wasn't speaking possessively," Metro Man spoke defiantly.

"Well, you certainly _act _possessively, especially when it comes to your girlfriends."

Metro Man narrowed his eyes but didn't otherwise respond.

"Whoops, looks like I struck a nerve there," Megamind continued. He casually reached backwards towards the Chair of Torture control panel and tightened his fingers around a small black ray gun he'd left there. "You look a little steamed. Maybe you should _cool off._"

Megamind quickly snapped his gun in front of him and pulled the trigger. Metro Man ducked the side, the electric-blue beam narrowly missing him. But, he wasn't in the clear just yet. The villain fired off more shots, forcing his hero into a dance of dodging.

Eventually, Megamind made a lucky shot – the beam caught the edge of Metro Man's cape. Within less than a second, a patch crystalized ice erupted from the spot and grew around the cape. Metro Man didn't realize what was happening until it was too late to save himself. He struggled to unclip his cape, but by then, the crystal had already spread to his shoulders. A few moments later, his entire body – feet, face, even his hair – was trapped behind a thick coat of ice.

Metro Man groaned and strained inside his icy prison, but couldn't break free. Megamind gave an evil chuckle. "It's no use, hero. I designed my Frosty Freezer to withstand even your massive strength. You're completely trapped. With you out of the way, there will be no one to stop me from seizing control of the city. Metrocity is mine!"

Metro Man decided to try a new tactic. His laser-vision burned straight through the ice and blasted the ray gun in Megamind's hand.

Megamind's face of joyful glee fell as he looked at the smoking, half-melted weapon. A shower of sparks cascaded out of the barrel. "That's never a good sign," he observed. "You've melted the resistor circuits. I expect the laser-tumblers will overload in less than a minute." He chucked the gun at Metro Man, the device clattering and sliding to a stop at his feet. "You're supposedly invincible, but not even you can survive the force of a black hole."

The supervillain hurriedly threw a few switches and pressed a couple buttons on his control panel. The alligator pit closed off and the overhead lighting turned on. "Farewell!" he shouted out as he dashed away from the scene and into a dark hallway. Though he usually liked to see his plans through to the finish, he knew exactly what those laser-tumblers were capable of when they overloaded. He had no intention of being anywhere near them when they did.

Metro Man was left with less than thirty seconds to free himself and fly Janet to safety. Fortunately, Megamind had given him plenty of experience in similar scenarios, and he'd completed escapes in even less time than he had now. He used his laser-vision again, but instead of shooting at Megamind, he aimed for himself. His body of steel was just as immune to lasers as it was to everything else, so he was able to make several cuts into his cocoon of ice without injury. With one pulse of exertion, his icy trap shattered into a million pieces.

The Frosty Freezer hadn't exploded yet, but it was vibrating and shooting sparks in all directions. Not wasting even a second, Metro Man flew back to Janet, scooped her up in his arms, and made a beeline for the hole he'd punched in the ceiling. They shot out of the lair faster than a speeding bullet.

A moment later, an enormous percussive blast shook the building. While the lair itself somehow remained standing, it set off nearby car alarms and shattered windows on any building too close. Janet breathed a sigh of relief and smiled, feeling lucky that she made it out of the Evil Lair alive.

"Are you alright, Miss?" Metro Man asked with concern. "Things got a little hairy back there."

"Oh, I'm alright," she assured him, letting her head rest against his muscular chest. "Thanks to you."

Metro Man grinned sheepishly as a super-blush filled his cheeks. "It was nothing, really. Saving people is my job. Today was nothing special."

Janet's happy expression dropped into disappointment. "Oh," she muttered, looking down and away from him.

"No, that's not what I meant at all!" he said with worry. "The rescue itself wasn't special, but you will always be special to me. Saving people might be my job, but I would fly to the edge of the galaxy and back to keep you safe."

"Really?" Janet said hopefully, her blue eyes starting to tear up.

Metro Man's signature charming grin reestablished itself. "Absolutely."

Janet's smile came back in full force. Before saying another word, she leaned up to give her superhero a light kiss on his cheek.

Minion peeked out from his hiding place in the rafters. Metro Man and Janet were nowhere to be found. A swarm of brainbots had already started repair work on the hole in the ceiling, but the lights had turned off in the explosion. The bulbs were probably shattered, but it wasn't anything he couldn't eventually fix. He flipped on his two spotlights, grateful that they still worked, and pointed them at the ceiling to give their lair some ambient light.

As he shimmied along the rafters back to the ladder that would take him to the ground, Minion surveyed the structural damage to the lair. None of the support beams had crumbled, thank goodness. The only notable problem was that hole, but it would be fixed by the next evil scheme. When he reached the floor, he took stock of the mess he'd surely be assigned to clean up. Rubble from Metro Man's entrance was scattered across the floor. Dark burns smudged the walls, and there was a large circular char mark on the floor where the Frosty Freezer exploded.

Megamind skipped gleefully out of his sheltered hallway. "Yes!" he exclaimed, glancing about at the carnage of the lair. He came to stop near his Minion, breathless with excitement. "This scheme went fairly well, don't you think?"

Minion was thoroughly confused. "Sir, I'm not sure you should be happy about this. The Evil Lair is a mess, and I think a couple of the monitors have their screens cracked. Some of your inventions might have melted in the explosion."

"Oh, I don't care about _that_," Megamind scoffed. "We can fix up the place later. But Janet, she was…she was _perfect_. She was scared of me, she screamed when I wanted her to, and when Metro Man came in, she stayed out of the way so we could have an uninterrupted battle."

"I suppose so," Minion admitted. "We should probably get to work repairing this damage, though, so we can get on with the next scheme."

"Yes, yes, of course." Megamind approached the monitors, noticing the three cracked screens Minion had mentioned and observing the damage to their control board. "Just think about it, Minion. We finally have the perfect damsel to distress!"

* * *

><p><strong>I now have personal evidence to support the relationship between reviews and faster updates. Besides, if I know what's good and bad about my work, I'll be able to make my next chapter better.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**I could make excuses explaining why this chapter is so late, but none of my reasons are good ones. Instead, I'll just apologize.**

**There is good news, however. Almost all of the remaining story is written out. As soon as I find time to write that last little bit, I'll get the other two chapter put up. Yes, there will be two more chapters. My original "last chapter" was longer than I intended it to be, so I've split it up. I can't believe I once thought I could finish this story in two installments.**

**Once again, a big thanks to my reviewers. I was wandering around this website about a week ago when I saw some of the reviews you had written for me. It made me realize that there still were people out there somewhere waiting for me to finish my story. I couldn't leave you hanging like that, not when I feel the same frustration you do when I follow a fanfic and the author suddenly stops updating. Thanks to you, this story is back up and running. Be proud of yourselves.**

* * *

><p>"Can you still see her?" Roxanne called out.<p>

Hal, rolling the camera while leaning out the passenger window of the van precariously, responded, "Barely. We're catching…wait! Turn left!"

Roxanne flicked on the left blinker, punched the brakes, and made a skidding left turn at the next intersection despite the red light. Only a few cars drove in this area of town, but she heard several horns honk at her in protest. She was probably breaking several traffic laws, but if any police officer saw, they didn't try to follow. She resumed gunning the accelerator, adding speeding to her list of infractions.

"Keep going, keep going!" Hal shouted. His camera was trained on the swarm of brainbots and their unconscious captive racing through the sky. While transmitting this to the news station live was out of the question, the video images would be valuable. Plus, this was the first time Hal managed to catch Megamind kidnapping someone, on tape no less. No matter how hard he tried to keep an eye on Roxanne, Megamind always waited until he had his back turned before snatching her out from under him.

A tall brick building cut across his sight, blocking his subject from view for a few seconds. After it passed, he tried to refocus his video image on the brainbots, but they were nowhere in sight. He took his eye away from the camera, quickly scanning the sky for their position, but with no better luck.

"Hold on," he warned. "I think I lost them."

Roxanne groaned. Hal's heart fell at that sound. It was an "I'm disappointed in you" sound. "Did you at least see which way they were going?" she asked.

"Uh, south, I think," Hal replied. "But they could have changed directions."

Roxanne glanced into her rear-view mirror to see if any cops were trying to pull her over for her latest traffic stunt. She didn't see the flashing lights of a police car, but what she did see was almost as inconvenient. A KCMP van was turning onto her street behind her.

She pressed the breaks, slowing down to a legal velocity. She didn't want anyone from the station catching her doing something this ridiculous. "Get back inside," she spoke hurriedly to Hal. As he brought himself and the camera back into the vehicle, the van behind her closed the distance between them. She recognized Marvin as the driver, and he gave a little wave.

Not wasting any time, Roxanne scanned the streets for a space to park and pulled the van up in front of a seedy apartment complex. As she shifted into park, Marvin pulled in behind her. She exited the vehicle, Hal following suit, and approached his van. Marvin didn't bother to leave the car, preferring to roll down his window instead.

"Were you following Janet too?" Hal asked.

Marvin shook his head. "Janet disappeared, and I thought something must have happened her, so I was driving to the police station."

"The station's on the other side of town," Roxanne stated.

Marvin glanced at Roxanne, blushed sheepishly, then looked away. "I got lost," he admitted in a quiet, nervous voice.

"Did you at least see where the brainbots went?" Hal asked.

Marvin's face turned quizzical. "What's a brainbot? Did they kidnap Janet?"

"You'll see what they are soon enough," Roxanne reassured him. "But, yes, they did kidnap Janet. They work for Megamind, and we saw them flying around carrying her. We were trying to follow her back to Megamind's Evil Lair, but they escaped us. We thought you were following them too."

Marvin's fingers fidgeted on the wheel of the car. "No, I, uh…" He swallowed a nonexistent lump in his throat. "I saw you at that last intersection, doing the turn…thing. I was lost."

"You thought I knew where Janet went," Roxanne finished for him. "Or at least where the police station was."

Marvin nodded mutely.

Hal couldn't help but notice that, whenever Roxanne talked to Marvin, he couldn't string two words together, but whenever _he_ talked to him, Marvin was perfectly fine. Hal narrowed his eyes at the cameraman. It didn't take a psychic to realize this guy was interested in Roxanne. Hal was already competing against Metro Man, and he didn't need the hassle of turning this into a three-way fight for her affection.

Roxanne noticed Marvin's behavior and all that it implied, but decided not to deal with it now. "Well, we may not know exactly where Megamind's lair is, but following the brainbots has at least given us a general idea. We think they were heading south from here, so we could keep heading in that direction until we ran into something."

Marvin tried to put another sentence together with a questionable amount of success. "I don't really, um…this Megamind guy? I don't want to…get involved, with what stuff he's doing."

"Because he's a villain and you're scared of what he might do to you," Roxanne inferred. Hal felt his stomach burning with jealousy. Roxanne never finished _his_ sentences like they were a married couple. "Don't worry – he's really no big deal. None of his evil plans ever work, and Metro Man's probably on his way to defeat him and rescue Janet right now."

"Yeah, don't feel bad about it," Hal added. "Not everyone can handle it. I mean, I face danger on a daily basis, so I'm used to it and all. Roxanne too. You aren't used to this kind of thing, so you shouldn't feel disappointed with yourself just because you haven't been through our awesome adventures."

"I'll keep that in mind," Marvin answered dryly. "I should probably get back to the station to, you know, let them know what happened to my reporter."

"That's fine," Roxanne said. "Do you know how to get back there?"

"I think I, uh, keep following this street to Main, then turn right? Then the station's on my left?"

"That's pretty much it," Roxanne confirmed, beginning to walk back to the van. "See you later, Marvin." Hal followed her, grateful that he was finally able to get her away from that nerdy cameraman. If only he was able to get her away from Metro Man as well.

"Wait!" Marvin called out. Roxanne stopped and turned back to face him. "I, uh…" He couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes away from his steering wheel. "My name's not Marvin," he finally spat out. Before Roxanne could ask anything about it, he rolled up his window, shifted gears into drive, and drove off down the street.

Roxanne watched him go, unsure of what to say. What was his real name, then?

"Um, what do we do now?" Hal asked, trying to fend off the awkward silence. "You mentioned something about finding Megamind's lair. Don't you already know where it is?"

She sighed, returning to the task at hand. "I don't know exactly. It's in a warehouse somewhere, but since Metro Man tends to fly me out of there at super-speeds due to impending explosions and whatnot, I don't know for sure which building it's in."

"But why do you want to find out? You should be staying away from Megamind, not trying to get his address."

Roxanne hesitated for a second, trying to word her response in a way that didn't seem completely self-centered. "Metro Man is far too noble to release the location of his nemesis's lair. I admire him for that, but the public needs this information. Don't his neighbors have the right to know if they live next door to a dangerous supervillain?"

"I guess so," Hal conceded. He always liked that about Roxanne – she always thought about others before herself. "Let's get back in the van."

"Good idea," she responded a little too quickly. "I'll drive, and you can keep the camera rolling. If we see Metro Man flying to the rescue, we can follow him to the lair instead."

As they reentered the van, Roxanne tried to push the feelings of guilt out of her stomach. True, she was feeling insecure about her position at KCMP with this new reporter taking up a Metro Man story. Yes, finding the exact location of Megamind's lair would be breaking news, probably enough to reestablish her role as the Metro Man reporter. But, that wasn't why she was looking for the Evil Lair. Oh, who was she kidding? She was scared of Janet stealing her thunder, and now she was trying to steal it back. That was the truth about the matter, whether she liked it or not.

The sound of a large explosion rippled through the air, easily startling Roxanne out of her thoughts. Hal tried and failed to look completely unfazed by the event. Confusion and mild panic surged through her body, but then she remembered why she had driven to this area of town in the first place.

"Ten to one odds says that was Megamind's most recent failure," Roxanne explained to Hal, who was still recovering from the surprise. "The lair has to be close with the explosion sounding this loud. Also, this means we missed Metro Man flying to the rescue. But, if we're quick enough, we can catch them flying away."

Hal pointed his camera out the window, scanning the sky for a hint of Metroman. His vigilance was rewarded before Roxanne even started the van. The pair of figures flying away to his right was too distant to make out, but since they were, well, flying, there was only one possibility. "I found them!" he cried out, bringing the eyepiece to his eye and zooming in as far as the camera would go.

"Way to go, Hal," Roxanne congratulated, squinting through the windshield in an attempt to find his discovery. "Where are they? Which way is he flying?"

Hal caught them in his camera's vision, thankful that he was able to zoom close enough to recognize Janet in his arms. "They're flying towards downtown. I think they…woah."

"What is it?" Roxanne asked. "Is he taking her back to the news station? Does he have Megamind, and is going to turn him in to the police?"

"Megamind's not with them," Hal responded. "But you might not like this. Janet just kissed your boyfriend."

Roxanne's eyes widened. "What?" Though not technically his girlfriend, she found Metro Man's choice to hook up with someone like Janet…unsettling.

"And now they're talking some more. His face is turning red like a tomato."

Roxanne would have cried out some remark of disbelief, but her cell phone rang before she could say anything. She glanced at the caller ID, not completely surprised to see the number of one of the station execs. She flipped her phone open and brought it to her ear. "Hello, Roxanne Ritchi."

The voice of a forty-some man came through the speaker. "Hey, Roxie. You know how we told you to come back to the station?"

"Yes. We were about to, but we saw Janet being carried off by brainbots and tried to follow her."

"Did you catch her on film?"

"Hal said he did. He also just got a shot of Metro Man flying her out of danger."

"Fantastic! This will go wonderfully with tonight's story on Megamind's latest diabolical scheme. Get those videos to the station ASAP."

"Great. We'll be heading over there right now, and then you can brief me on who to interview for the story."

The man paused briefly. "Actually, we're going to have Janet run the interviews for tonight. I hope you can understand."

"No, I perfectly understand," Roxanne spoke with a layer of sarcasm. "It's not like I'm an experienced reporter and this is her first day on the job. Oh, wait a minute, it's exactly like that."

"I understand your concern, but this is for the good of the station," the exec replied calmly. "We just got the ratings results from Janet's report this morning, and they were through the roof."

"It was Metro Man. He always gets a ton of viewers."

"Yes, but Janet's ratings were much higher than yours would have been."

Roxanne's dead silence spoke volumes.

"I'm very sorry about this. Maybe another time, like when Megamind kidnaps you again in a few days. By the way, since Janet got kidnapped today, she and her cameraman were never able to report on the construction on South Street. After getting those videos to the station, can you zip on over there to cover the story? Thanks."

The exec hung up with a click. Roxanne slowly took the phone away from her ear, flipping it shut. To tell the truth, she didn't know whether to be shocked or furious. She decided "mildly annoyed" was the only socially acceptable response.

Hal spoke up. "So, we're taking my shots of the brainbots and Metro Man to the station?" he inferred.

"Yep."

"And Janet's going to be running the Metro Man story tonight?"

"Correct."

"Are we going to go find Megamind's lair now?"

"We can't. We're supposed to report on that construction project Janet never got around to."

Hal groaned. "I hate executive meddling!"

* * *

><p>Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, Megamind had no intention of kidnapping Roxanne ever again. Janet was a much more cooperative hostage – the screams, the cries for help, and the tendency to stay out of the way when he and Metro Man were fighting, both physically and verbally. Why would he ever want to kidnap a sarcastic, far-too-nosy woman like Roxanne?<p>

This, of course, meant that Janet was always in the thick of things when it came to the near-daily battles between good and evil. It was only a natural choice for the KCMP executives to give her all reports and interviews regarding Metro Man and his encounters with Megamind. The execs' decision was rewarded as their viewing audience grew, though the new viewers had a surprisingly large percentage of males from the 18-32 demographic.

Roxanne tried not to let herself be bothered by this. Even though she was officially off the Metro Man stories, she wasn't completely banned from all interesting news. In fact, it was refreshing, being able to cover something besides the constant good-versus-evil battles. Reporting on that Comic Con was kind of fun, even though Hal constantly geeked out about it when they were there. Also, it was kind of relaxing when she didn't have the constant threat of kidnapping hanging over her head.

Sure, she missed being out of the action a little bit, but it was nice for the focus to be on someone else for a change. She was especially glad of this when Metro Man and Janet became an official couple. If the newbie's ratings were high before, they blasted into space after Metro Man proclaimed his love for her on camera. Though Roxanne had never explicitly told the public that she and the superhero were dating, it still caused quite a stir when he "dumped" her to start going out with the new reporter. Suddenly, Janet was interviewed just as often as she interviewed others. Roxanne sat back and watched this, happy that she wasn't the one being chased around by the paparazzi.

Roxanne tried to make the best of the situation, putting as much energy as she could into her reports to prove that she was still the KCMP star reporter. Yet, as the weeks went by, she found herself covering smaller and smaller stories. Eventually, she realized that most of her reports were on road construction. She made attempts to ignore her wounded pride, but her friends could detect the frustration leaking into her reports. No one else paid her any mind, though. Janet was the one they were supposed to be watching.

* * *

><p>"Behold!" Megamind announced as a giant ray gun rose up from the floor behind him. Janet, handcuffed to a chair before him, trembled in fear. All was going according to plan. "No one can resist the mighty force of my-"<p>

He was interrupted by a loud, harsh scream of terror from Janet. "Metro Man, help!" she yelled.

"But I didn't even tell you what it was," Megmind whined. "Don't you want to know what it does? Or hear me explain my evil plans to use it to enslave the city?" That was what a Hypno-Beam was for, after all. Since he doubted it would affect Metro Man, he'd instead aim his beam at several key figures of Metrocity, hypnotizing them to trust and worship him. He'd have control of the city before sunset.

Before he could explain this, however, a loud crash sounded from behind him. He didn't have to turn around to know what happened to his Hypno-Beam. Janet gasped in delight. "Metro Man! You've come to save me!"

"Of course, honey," the hero assured. "Nothing from earth or the stars could stop me from rescuing you."

The ensuing battle was over within a few minutes. In her report, Janet described the Hypno-Beam as a "big scary death-ray", and the other newscasters and journalists were inclined to believe her. Everyone agreed that the simple death-ray was dull and boring in comparison to Megamind's earlier plots.

"He must be losing his touch," Bernard, the local Megamind expert, explained in one of Janet's interviews. He pushed his glasses higher up on his nose before continuing in his bored-sounding critique. "This is nowhere near the level his Head Zeppelin was at. Heck, even the Laser Bears were better than this."

Megamind switched off his prison TV, too irritated to listen to another second of the report. Only he and his Minion knew that, without Metro Man, the city mayor would be shining his boots in a hypnotic state by now.

For once, he was irked at Janet's tendency to scream.

* * *

><p>He had learned a lot from his college classes. Sure, he would probably never have to write another literature paper or do calculus ever again, but where else would he have learned all his filming techniques? College was where he developed his love for filming, saved up money for his first high-end camera, and created a small series of short films that made him famous around campus and eventually attracted Janet's job offer.<p>

However, he'd learned more about his profession by working with Janet for two months than he had in his four years at college. For instance, he learned how to ready his camera and have it filming in less than thirty seconds. He discovered the perfect balance between waiting for Janet to get her hair ready and starting the camera before the newsworthy event could escape. And, most of all, he learned how to tolerate her senselessness and stupidity. It wasn't that she purposefully went about trying stand in the way of his shots when he wasn't filming her and walk out of the shot when he was. She simply didn't realize how much she was inconveniencing him.

Her inconsiderateness didn't contain itself to those few habits. When she went into a coffee shop to get the two of them some caffeine, she almost always forgot to get him a drink. She refused to walk more than a block to her report scenes, making him to drive himself nuts trying to find a parking space close enough. And, whenever there weren't any Metro Man events to report on and the station gave her a choice of what story to investigate, she always chose something girly and inane. She didn't care that he'd have fun filming that comic book convention that was making Metro City a ton of money, not when the animal shelter was giving away baby kittens!

But, it was Janet's gorgeousness that fueled the station's high ratings, not his careful film work. He was forced to comply with everything she did, whether it was ruining his shot of Megamind getting thrown into a prison truck or forcing him to film the opening of a new salon on East Street that he doubted anyone wanted to hear about. Still, his paychecks were a healthy size, so he would tolerate her. For now, at least. It heavily depended on how many times she said his name wrong.

* * *

><p>"This bites."<p>

"Hal, I think you're overreacting a bit."

"No, I'm not. Most of the news we report on now is the construction projects. What are we, a pair of newbies?" Hal tossed his camera into the back of the van, climbed into the driver seat, and slammed the door.

Roxanne, from her position in the passenger seat, sighed and leaned forward slightly. "I know. But, it's not like the current newbies have enough time to report on this."

"Yeah, it's because they're off stealing all the stories we used to have. All the exciting ones." Roxanne had to admit he was right. She'd give her left arm to be back in Janet's position right now, including the discomfort of constant kidnappings.

Hal groaned in frustration and leaned his head on the steering wheel. "I was going to ask you out tonight, but now I can't afford it."

She took a second to respond. Hal had been getting more forward with her after Metro Man "dumped" her to hook up with Janet, so she found ways to deflect his advances and avoid the topic of dating. She never outright rejected him since he still felt like a friend to her and she didn't want to hurt him, but she had definitely thrown enough hints to make the point that she wasn't interested. Still, he kept on trying to ask her out, so she continued to throw hints and pray that he would one day throw in the towel.

But, he wasn't even asking her out now. That was what concerned her. "What do you mean, you can't afford it?"

"They docked my pay a few weeks ago," he stated. "I thought they might have docked yours too, so you'd already know. I guess not."

"No, I've been getting the same paycheck as always," she told him. "Why would they cut your pay but not mine? Why would they cut your pay at all?"

"Uh, because you're Roxanne Ritchi?" Hal answered. "Even if Janet's been stealing the spotlight for the past month and a half, people still recognize your face. If they dock your pay, you might quit and go work for a rival news station, and some of the viewers would follow you. But me? Nobody knows my name, let alone recognizes me. Who cares if I decide to quit? They'd hire some Joe Shmoe to take my place."

Roxanne couldn't help but be concerned. She rested a hand on his shoulder. "Hal, I'm so sorry."

Hal had to admit, it was pretty nice to have Roxanne expressing concern for him. It didn't completely kill his frustration with the situation, however. "Don't be sorry. It's not your fault the execs are doing this." He sat up straight and turned the keys in the ignition, starting the van. "And if there's one upside to the whole thing, it's that you're not dating Metro Man anymore. I mean, would you really want to go out with a guy who'd dump you as soon as a hotter girl walked by? Not that I think she's hotter than you. I mean-"

"I get it, Hal," she said flatly. He was throwing her another hint, this one about as subtle as a flying anvil. Her only choice was to ignore it. "Let's get back to the station. We've both had a long day."

Hal shifted the van into drive. "Yeah, sure, okay. By the way, can you lend me a couple bucks until my paycheck goes through? I'm tired of eating ramen."

* * *

><p>Janet screamed.<p>

Megamind whirled around to face her with a look of concern. He normally wouldn't be bothered by this, but even his enormous brain couldn't think of a reason for her to be scared yet. He hadn't revealed his invention yet, neither physically nor verbally. Had she figured out his plans already, despite her well-below-average IQ? "What happened?" he asked.

"That!" Janet yelped, hesitantly gesturing with her foot to something on the ground. It was a small, gray, furry creature scurrying around on the floor not five feet away. She curled into a ball on top of the Chair of Torture, trying to move as far away from the animal as she could with her arms bound tied the chair. "It's horrible, get it away from me!"

"A…mouse," Megamind deadpanned. "You're terrified of a mouse."

Janet nodded, still shaking in terror. The mouse scurried towards her, a little curious about this strange lady, but she screamed again, startling it and sending it scampering into the shadows.

"You monster!" she cried out.

"Thank you for the compliment." She didn't make any move to relax, instead choosing to remain curled up in the chair. "The mouse is gone," he informed her. "You can relax a bit now."

"Are you kidding me? Now I don't know where it is. It could be anywhere, even underneath this…chair…" Janet yelped again at that realization, curling up even tighter in fright.

Megamind sighed. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter was a pain to write, trying to make sure I explained all the events of two months in a handful of short scenes. Anyways, the last chapter of this story is 100% written. This next one is finished except for the second half of its largest scene. That's what I get for writing my stories out of order. As soon as I get chapter four put up, chapter five will follow shortly after, after I've had a few days to proofread it. Reviews might make that come sooner, however. They're a great source of motivation.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's chapter four for all of your reading enjoyment. The last chapter will be up as soon as I can edit it. That might be tomorrow, or it might be four days, but I'll make sure it's here before Monday.**

**Yet another thanks to the wonderful reviewers who showed me that there are still people following this story despite its six-week pause.**

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><p>Minion was getting worried. He'd known his boss for almost his entire life. They'd grown up together through trials, triumphs, and many, many disappointments. And yet, Minion had never seen him like this.<p>

The first five or so times they kidnapped Janet, Megamind had been delighted at her genuine fear of him and how he could make her scream for help on cue. From sometime after that, though, there was a gradual change in him. Plans became less elaborate. His performances, while still over-the-top and full of dramatic gesturing and banter, lost a bit of energy. It had been weeks since he'd heard Megamind laugh wickedly.

Then, things suddenly got worse. After another escape from prison, Megamind plunked down in his high-backed swivel chair and stared off into space. Minion was a little concerned, but made nothing of it. Sir tended to get that blank look when he was trying to come up with ideas. Minion decided the best choice of action was to start a load of laundry and leave his boss alone for a few minutes.

When he came back a about half an hour later, Megamind was still sitting and staring from the same position. Now it was time to get involved. "Sir, what's wrong?"

Megamind didn't respond right away. He spun himself ninety degrees to the side, staring off into a new portion of the lair. "Thinking," he responded in a far-away voice. He fingered an arm-rest of his chair. "What's…what's the point of all this?"

Minion blinked in confusion a few times. "I'm not really following you, sir. The point of what?"

Megamind sighed, leaning back in the chair. "Everything. Kidnapping Janet, luring Metro Man into traps, getting defeated, going to prison, and then escaping later. It's a cycle. No matter how cunning my plans are, they are always destined to fail. I'm forced to follow the same routine over and over. There's no way out."

It was worse than Minion thought. "You don't think it's fun anymore?"

Megamind lost his blank look – which was a good sign – and turned to annoyance. "Fun? What could possibly be fun about repeating the same sequence of events for years on end?" He spun his chair around once in frustration, coming to a stop facing his Minion. "Maybe I should just give up and turn in my cape."

Minion remained stunned in silence for a few moments. Sir had always been full of wild energy, even after his most humiliating defeats. Now, he seemed dead, a shadow of his former exuberant self. His fiery determination was gone, doused in melancholy. He'd simply lost the spirit to keep fighting.

Minion's expression hardened with determination. No matter how long it took, he was going to get that spirit back. He'd dig a hole to the center of the earth if it meant making Megamind happy again.

"I can't let you do that, sir."

Megamind snorted half-heartedly. "And why not?"

Minion stepped closer to his boss, looking him straight in the eye. "You only feel this way because of Janet."

Megamind swiveled away, turning his back on the fish. "No, that's not it. Janet always makes the evil plots more fun. I can always make her scared of me. And she always stays out of the way when Metro Man and I are bantering. Then, she always-" Megamind stopped abruptly. He sat perfectly still for several moments, then slowly turned his chair to face his fish again. "You're a genius, Minion. It _is_ her, isn't it?"

Minion glanced at his feet and his mechanical arm rubbed the back of his bowl sheepishly. "Well, I just figured, since you only began acting depressed after we started kidnapping her instead of Roxanne."

Megamind stood up from his chair. "You're absolutely right. Janet is always scared of me. I could give her a puppy and she'd _still _scream." He turned away from Minion, walking towards the cloud of note cards, blueprints, and newspaper clippings hanging from the ceiling. He glanced at his designs for his Hypno-Beam and the nearby news story of when Metro Man foiled his plan to use it. His expression immediately morphed into disgust. "She doesn't care what my inventions do, or how I kidnap her. She doesn't appreciate the hard work and genius that goes into a truly terrifying villainous plot."

He whirled around, turning his back on all the news stories, kidnapping schemes, and inventions he'd designed for Janet. "The solution is simple, isn't it? We remove her from the equation."

Minion hesitantly accepted this change in mood. While he was happy that the dead look in Megamind's eyes had left, he wasn't sure if it was gone for good. "But, without Janet, who will we kidnap?"

Megamind shrugged. "We'll go back to using Roxanne, of course." Suddenly, he felt his heart begin to race at the prospect of kidnapping Roxanne again. Scaring Janet was no big deal, but finding a way to make Roxanne truly terrified was quite an accomplishment. It would be a challenge, but since when did he ever back down from challenges?

Of course, he needed a plan to kidnap Roxanne. He wasn't sure if the brainbots recognized her anymore, so he and Minion would have to complete that part of the plan themselves. Then there was the matter of deciding what to do with Roxanne while they waited for Metro Man to come to the rescue. And then, to be an actual threat, he'd need some sort of invention that could defeat Metro Man. There were also evil monologues to write, and he'd need to find a suitable place to execute the plan from, like the junkyard or an abandoned observatory.

Almost without bidding, his incredibly efficient and handsome brain generated several ideas to accomplish each facet of the scheme. A grin returned to his face. It had been a long time since he'd felt this inspired. It felt like every neuron was firing off new possibilities and his body was reawakening with the energy to act upon them. "Minion, fetch me my de-gun, a soldering iron, the smallest screwdriver you can find, and a box of donuts."

A smile crept onto Minion's fishy face. "On, it, sir. " He started walking to the tool cabinet to get those things, but after a few steps, he stopped short. Megamind was regaining his previous level of vigor and excitement, but he had to make sure his boss stayed that way. "Sir?" he asked.

"Yes, Minion?"

"You mentioned how Janet doesn't appreciate your work. Roxanne doesn't appreciate it either."

His boss glanced away thoughtfully. "I suppose so. But there's always a chance I can convince her to, am I right?"

* * *

><p>Roxanne was extremely frustrated. The execs sent her an email last night with all the stories she would be covering today. Every single one of them was a reconstruction project fixing up the aftermath of one of Megamind's schemes. It had taken two months to happen, but she and Hal had finally assumed the reporting schedule a fresh newbie was supposed to have.<p>

She had complained to the execs earlier about her slowly worsening reporting duties. They told her everything was fine, that they were only shifting around the reporting duties a bit and that she would be back on the exciting stories very soon. Today, she knew the execs were total liars.

She almost considered not going to work that day. She sat on her bed, staring at the opposite wall for quite some time, before convincing herself that she still needed to report on her stories, even if they were boring ones. After all, the only way she could go from here was up.

She originally became a reporter because of the excitement and wonder of reporting on things that no one had ever seen before. When she got a job offer in Metro City, Megamind and Metro Man were just starting out, but they still caused enough excitement for her to take the job without a second thought. Their escapades escalated, and soon she found herself reporting on bank robberies, death rays, and epic battles between Metro Man's superpowers and Megamind's amazing inventions.

Now, Janet had the privilege of having those kinds of adventures. Roxanne was left with stories that were far from new and exciting. There was nothing fresh about reporting on broken roads and buildings that had been wrecked before and will be wrecked again.

She entered the passenger side of her van, plopped down in the seat, and sighed in defeat.

"What's the matter?" Hal asked as he slid into the driver's seat. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, Hal, it's not you," she said. "It's just that I can't bring myself to go report on yet another construction site. This is the first time I've ever hated doing this job." She rubbed her temples, trying to release the stress she could feel building up into a headache.

"It's not so bad," Hal tried to tell her. "Okay, yeah, the stories are dull and my salary is sinking through the floor, but there are worse places out there to work. Can you imagine how bad it would be to have Metro Man's job? He's always flying around and doing stuff, he doesn't get vacation time, and he doesn't get paid."

"At least he's where the action is," she grumbled. "He actually does something with his job. What's the point of reporting a story that everyone's heard a million times over? 'Oh, this road is closed because of Megamind's latest scheme. This building is being fixed because Megamind destroyed it. For full details, see the ditzy, airhead reporter we'll have on tonight!'" She sighed again and sunk deeper into her seat. "At least Megamind liked to vary his plans a little bit. Yes, he always captured me, and Metro Man always rescued me, and his plans always failed, but he always had a new invention. A brand-new plan, every single time."

A new sentence pushed against her tongue, and she resisted it for a few moments before she realized there was no point. "Maybe I should quit and go work at another news station. Sure, I'll have to start my career from scratch, but I can't see how it could be worse than this."

"You can't leave me here!" Hal cried out. His worried expression hung on his face for a few moments before he tried to compose himself. "I mean, they'd probably fire me if you left."

"They won't fire you, Hal."

"You don't know that," he shot back. "Without you here to protect me, they could easily fire me and replace me with an unpaid intern or something. Even if I'm not booted out, they'll probably hire a stupid newbie to take your place. If I'm miserable now, think how bad it'll be when I'm working with someone who doesn't know what she's doing." He stopped suddenly, like he deciding whether or not to say something, then continued. "And it will all be your fault."

Roxanne's eyes flicked towards him in surprise. Of all the things he had done with her – reporting, one-sided flirting, and sometimes even comforting each other – he had never acted angry, or even irritated at her. And yet, here he was, his voice raised and his eyes narrowed.

"My fault?" she asked, wondering what she could have done to tick him off like this.

"Yes, your fault," he repeated. "While the execs slowly bumped us down to construction stories, I was stuck here. I couldn't complain or they'd dock my pay again or fire me. But you? You just sat there! The execs would have listened to you if you complained about it."

"I did." Roxanne retorted. "And they didn't listen."

"Then you could have done something else! But you just sat on your butt and let them walk all over you. Now that things have finally bottomed out, you're running way and abandoning me. You used to be Roxanne Ritchi, the reporter who wasn't scared of anything, even Megamind. Now you're chickening out because of some stupid news station politics. What's wrong with you?"

Roxanne stared at him, not sure how to respond to an angry Hal. He was right about one thing, though. Metro Man never gave up, no matter how dire the situation was. Even Megamind, in his own way, refused to throw in the towel. Every time one of his plots failed, he just picked up the pieces and tried again. In the past, she'd believed that she was just as strong as these two figures, that she was not afraid to put herself in harm's way if it meant she could report the truth to the public. Now, she was running away from her station's execs to go work somewhere else, hoping that things would somehow get better.

What had happened to her? She needed to get herself back on track.

Hal continued in his enraged rant. "You could've fought so much harder. People still watch your reports. You could have mentioned all this on-camera, and then the execs would've had to do something about it. And even if you didn't want to do things that way, you still could've done something. Janet's so stupid that she'd have given up her Metro Man stories if you asked her to do it enough times."

Roxanne gasped. "Hal, you're a genius."

Hal stopped his rant to shoot her a confused look. "Huh? I mean, yeah, I already knew that. When'd you notice?"

* * *

><p>An hour later, Hal turned the van onto Janet's street. They'd already checked the station headquarters looking for her, but she hadn't shown up to work that day. A few online searches had led them to this address. It was one of the nicer areas of town, filled with apartment complexes that had been newly rebuilt after Megamind's Mushroom Bomb reduced most of the buildings to piles of rotting boards.<p>

Roxanne gazed out the window, squinting to pick out the address numbers on the side of the buildings. 998, 994, 990…they were getting closer, but just when they reached the building that should have been Janet's, they passed by a large, parked truck that blocked the address number from view. Roxanne tried to glance around it, but then the writing on the side of the truck caught her eye. _Rapid Movers: When Speed is All You Need._

Hal apparently saw the truck too, as he slowed the van and parked it in the next free space. "Is someone moving?" he asked, but Roxanne didn't have time to answer him. She was out of the van as soon as it stopped.

She rushed across the well-mowed lawn and towards the building's door as fast as her high-heels would let her. She could see moving men at work, carrying a TV, sofa, and other pieces from a living room out to deposit them into the truck before returning inside to grab more. Just before Roxanne could reach her destination, however, Janet walked out the door with a clipboard in her hand, scribbling something down before handing it to one of the moving men.

He glanced over it before looking back up to her. "Uh, ma'am?" he said. "You wrote one too many zeroes on your check."

"Don't be silly!" she scoffed in her high-pitched, still-annoying voice. "Zeroes aren't worth anything."

"If you say so, miss."

"Janet!" Roxanne called out to her as she approached. "We need to talk."

"Rachel!" she called back. "It's nice to see you again. How's Hank?"

Ignoring the mangling of her name, Roxanne grabbed Janet's arm and pulled her over to the side of the yard where they would be out of the way of the moving men. She doubted Janet would be paying enough attention to listen to her, but this was better than doing nothing and putting herself at the execs' mercy.

"Janet, you need to give me the Metro Man stories back," she said sternly. "They were mine to begin with, and you stole them from me. I do a better job of reporting them anyways. The only reason you get more viewers than I do is because a lot of them are men who are only interested in staring at your-"

"Don't worry about it," Janet interrupted. "You can have Metro Man back. A news station in Lakeville offered me a job there, and I said yes. I'm moving there now."

With a crack like a sonic boom and a large gust of air, the famous Metro Man suddenly appeared beside the two women. He dusted himself off a bit and adjusted his cape so that it draped from his shoulders in its usual pristinely perfect way. "I came as soon as I heard," he informed them in his polite, official tone of voice. "I think my super-ears are deceiving me. Did you just say you were…moving?"

"Uh-huh!" Janet replied cheerfully.

The superhero's expression softened. "But, sweetie," he spoke gently, stepping forwards and taking one of her hands in his. "What about us? I can easily fly to Lakeville to see you, but with Megamind on the loose, I can't stay away from Metro City for too long." He squeezed her hand a little, being careful to restrain his super-strength. Roxanne would have found the situation touching if she wasn't still annoyed at Janet.

"Oh, honey, I thought about you when they called me," Janet responded, her too-made-up facing looking a little silly trying to fit into an expression of sadness. "But they made me a better offer."

"What could they have possibly offered you that is more powerful than the love we share?" he asked.

Janet grimaced a little, pulling her hand away from his. "They have a bat-themed superhero in Lakeville."

He didn't respond for a moment. "Oh. I see," he finally said, reverting back to his official-sounding voice and taking a heroically stoic pose.

"He's probably, like, the most amazing superhero ever," Janet admitted, snapping back to her usual, excited self. "He's mysterious, he has a troubled past, and he's really, really hot. I even think he-"

Janet would have continued gushing, but Metro Man chose that moment to leap into flight. As he burst into the sky like a gunshot, Roxanne could feel a few drops of water pelt her face. Metro Man was…crying? She'd never heard of _that_ happening before. Then again, she doubted Metro Man had ever been on this side of a break-up.

Before she could say another word to Janet, the sound of another van pulling up made the two of them turn their heads. A KMCP van parked behind the moving truck and switched off as Martin leapt out of it and sprinted across the lawn. "Janet!" he cried, panic in his voice. "Where were you? You weren't at the news station, and we have a Metro Man announcement to report on in…" He slowed to a stop in front of his reporting partner, glancing around the yard and its busy scene. "Are you moving?"

"Uh-huh!" Janet joyfully proclaimed. "We've got a new job in Lakeville."

"We?" Martin gasped. "You didn't tell me anything." He spoke quietly, like he was afraid he would upset her. "When does the job start? I'll need to get my house ready for the move."

"Tomorrow!" she smiled. "Isn't that convenient, Marvin?"

The cameraman looked up in her eyes, his face flat. Then he snapped. "Convenient?" he shouted. "How is learning that I have twenty-four hours to move to a completely new city 'convenient?' I just learned how to navigate Metro, and you want me to go somewhere else where there are new streets and a new van and, ugh!"

Janet cocked her head, her eyebrows pressing together. "Why are you so angry, Marvin? Did I do something wrong?"

"Yes, you've done a lot of things wrong!" he replied. "You mess up my camera shots, you don't listen to my suggestions, and worst of all, you always get my name wrong. It's Martin, with a T! Martin Isaac Wilder! I'm not a no-name nerd in some movie who does everything a girl tells him to just because she's hot! If you had an IQ score larger than your age, you would have noticed that. I can't believe I was ever attracted to you!"

Martin suddenly turned to Roxanne. "I'm not going to shy myself out of admitting my romantic feelings towards you, Roxanne, not anymore. But there are three other guys fighting for you, so I'll just have to find myself a new girl, one who will have the ability to pay attention to me."

He resumed his focus on Janet. "Oh, and don't you think of telling the station executives about this so they'll fire me. They won't be able to do anything, because I quit! I hate running around all day chasing down stories as a cameraman. I'm going to do what I do best; movie-making. That's all I ever wanted to do anyways, until you recruited me and put me in the worst job I've ever had in my life."

Before anyone could stop him, Martin stormed across the lawn back towards the van. About halfway there, he turned back to face his former reporting partner. "Oh, and if _you_ still have a job and a salary when you're forty and your looks are gone, go see one of my films. I'll make one based on a poor, sympathetic cameraman who gets stuck with the most idiotic, inconsiderate reporter I've ever had the displeasure of knowing."

Roxanne was too stunned to say anything as Martin got in his van and drove off. She wasn't surprised at his attraction towards her or that he was just as annoyed at Janet as she was. Rather, she was shocked that such a shy person would have the spine to shout both those things to the sky. Then again, like she always said, you can't judge a book by its cover.

* * *

><p>Hal waited in the van for a solid half-hour while Roxanne talked to Janet. He couldn't see them from his view in the van, but he was able to watch the moving men walk back and forth, packing more and more furniture into the truck. It sure was taking Roxanne a long time, but he was willing to wait. Even if it took all day for her pleas, arguments, and possible rants to make an impact on Janet, getting the exciting stories back was worth it.<p>

After waiting for that half-hour, though, Hal began to get worried. Why hadn't Roxanne come back yet? Had something happened to her? Should he come to the rescue?

Hal got out of the van and made his way towards Janet's building. The moving men were still working, but they had already handled all the big items and were now packing away smaller pieces – stools, bedside lamps, and the like. He glanced around the yard, but he couldn't spot either of the reporters. Maybe they were in Janet's apartment?

He slipped in through the front door as the moving men were carrying out a load of packing boxes. He followed the trail of workers to a staircase near the back of the complex. Luckily, he was just in time to catch Janet coming down the flight of stairs.

"Hi, Hank!" she said cheerfully. "I'm moving to a new reporting job in Lakeville. Isn't that wonderful?"

"It's you?" Hal gaped. "You're leaving Metro City? And KMCP?" He couldn't believe it. The universe had spent the last two months giving him the worst luck he'd ever had to deal with, and now it was cutting him a break. No, it was cutting _them_ a break – both him and Roxanne. He was so happy that he didn't even mind Janet getting his name wrong. "This is awesome!" he cried. "Roxanne would love to hear this."

"I already told her," Janet said. "Then Metro Man showed up and I told him. Then Marvin showed up and I told _him_, but then he got really mad at me for some reason."

"You already told her," Hal repeated. "Okay. Where is she?"

"Oh, she left," Janet responded. "I think she went back to the news station."

"But _I_ drove the our here," Hal told her. "I was waiting in it while she talked to you."

Janet cocked her head to the side and stared at him like he was a quantum physics equation. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Hal sighed and pressed a palm to his forehead. "She couldn't have gone back to the news station because she had no way to get there."

"Oh." Janet said simply. "Well, good luck looking for her!" She turned to go back up the stairs.

"Wait!" Hal cried out. "Won't you-" It was too late. Janet dashed back up to her apartment, completely oblivious to his call. "…help me? Darn it."

Hal searched everywhere – inside the building, on the lawn, around the parked cars. She was nowhere to be found. He talked to some of the moving men, but none of them had seen where she went. She was gone without a trace. He eventually trudged back to the van, disappointed. He couldn't leave Janet's apartment building to look for her – what if she came back and found herself stranded?

Then, an interesting thought came into Hal's head. Before Janet and Marvin took over, Roxanne used to disappear like this every few days. Why hadn't he realized it before?

"Yes!" he exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air. Janet was leaving and Roxanne was being kidnapped again, so there was no way the executives could keep her and Hal from being the Metro Man reporters again. Things were going back to the way they used to be. Nothing could ruin this moment!

Wait. Janet was leaving. Roxanne would need rescuing. She was going to be Metro Man's reporter again. Their relationship would go back to the way it used to be.

"Noooo!"

* * *

><p><strong>I suppose I should take the time to mention that this story takes place well before the movie starts - a couple years at least. This is why Megamind didn't have feelings for Roxanne when this story started. Whether or not he does now is up to your interpretation. The time gap also explains why things like the Invisible Car, certain settings on the de-gun, and Holo-Watch haven't been used - he hasn't invented them yet.<strong>

****Think this is the end of the story, that things are going to go back to normal? Not quite. There's still a few loose ends to tie up in the final chapter.****


	5. Chapter 5

**Here you have it - the last chapter of my first story on this wonderful site. I've had a great time writing it, and I can only hope that you've had a better time reading it.**

**I don't currently have plans for other fanfics, Megamind or otherwise, but if I find the urge to write anything else, I'll be sure to put it up here.**

* * *

><p>Roxanne could hear the voice of Megamind, but the words he was speaking only started making sense a few seconds later. They had used the Knockout Spray, then. With the Forget-Me-Stick, she tended to wake up all at once instead of in bits and pieces like she was now. She opened her eyes, letting her vision clear to reveal the inside of an empty warehouse, shafts of sunlight cutting through the dusty windows. While she was a little surprised at being kidnapped again, she could still recognize the pattern of graffiti on the inside. This was the place where Megamind liked to hold his fights were he didn't want the public to interfere, but the invention was too big or messy to work in his lair.<p>

However, she knew something very unusual was going on, mainly because she found herself sitting in a bubblegum-pink recliner and Megamind hadn't bothered to tie her up.

"I'm in a warehouse on Corner Boulevard if you're Metro _Man_ enough to challenge my evil," Megamind spoke into a wristwatch. She couldn't recall him using a device like that before. He'd either invented it during the last two months, or he specifically created it for the purpose of broadcasting to Metro Man from this warehouse. "And if you hurry up, I have a special surprise waiting for you."

Megamind twisted something on the watch face, ending the communication signal. Roxanne had no idea what his ultimate plan was, but since they forgot to tie her up, she had no intention of staying long enough to find out. She made an attempt to stand up from the chair, but something stopped her. Her arms and body were stuck to the chair like it was coated with super-glue.

Megamind, upon hearing this disturbance behind him, turned to face it, a navy cape swirling around his body. The collar was slightly higher than usual with tiny silver spikes ringing the top. She couldn't remember him wearing that before, either. This was obviously a special occasion. "Ollo, Miss Ritchi. Long time, no see. Are you comfortable in the Confiner Recliner?"

Roxanne cocked an eyebrow. "Actually, yes, aside from the whole 'held here against my will' part. With all the pink, it's a little different from your usual style. Did you get bored of the Chair of Torture?"

"In a way, yes. Maybe I will end up turning it into a pool table after all. No matter, this chair secures you well enough, and Metro Man is already on his way." He tapped his watch and spoke into it once more. "Minion! Is the trap ready yet?"

The watch beeped three times. "Excellent," Megamind responded.

Roxanne had to admit, it was interesting to be back in the thick of things. No, scratch that. This was one of the best things to happen to her. Janet had resigned, and now that she was once again a crucial piece in Megamind's plotting, she would be assigned to report on Metro Man stories again. No more construction projects! Maybe Hal would even see the resumption in her kidnappings as a sign that she was no longer available to be his girlfriend. This would probably be the only time her in life she was glad to be stuck in a chair waiting for Metro Man to rescue her.

"Is that a new watch?" she asked her captor. Now that she a part of his battles again, she might as well take a gauge of what kinds of evil inventions he now had at his disposal.

Megamind glanced at his communicator. "Why yes, it is. I'm glad you've noticed."

Roxanne made a mental note of this. Megamind always made a new invention for each of his evil schemes, but only a few of those schemes actually involved more than one. Of those that did, however, he always followed a rule of three. The chair was number one, and the watch was two. His third and final new invention was probably dedicated to defeating Metro Man.

As expected, Metro Man burst through one of the high windows, sending a shower of glass shards onto the concrete floor. He landed a few yards in front of the villain, settling into one of his stock heroic poses. "I'm here, Megamind, though I don't know what you could possibly-" His eyes widened as he caught sight of the reporter stuck to her recliner. "Roxanne!"

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "Janet's gone. Who else would you expect the hostage to be, the Queen of England?"

Megamind's brow furrowed in puzzlement. "What happened to Janet?"

"She got offered a job in Lakeville, decided to move there, and dumped Metro Man in favor of their brooding bat-themed superhero," she summarized. "Since you kidnapped me instead of her this time, I thought you knew about it already."

"Of course I knew about it!" he responded in a way that implied the complete opposite. "It was, uh, all part of my evil plot. Yes! I purposefully brought Janet into Metrocity to toy with Metro Man's emotions. I made her break up with him to give him an emotional injury before coming into this fight. I, uh, just didn't know that she moved already." Right. Wait, then how did he know to kidnap her instead of Janet today?

Megamind resumed his focus on his nemesis. "Now that the confusion is all cleared up, I think we should get on with the show."

"You'd better take you bows early," Metro Man shot back. "Because you're not going to last until curtain call."

"Until an encore of evil brings me back onstage in all my malevolent glory!"

"And even then," Roxanne interrupted. "You're going to lose. You always have and always will. Can we just skip to the part where you to try to destroy Metro Man, but instead he kicks your butt and flies me out of here?"

Megamind shot the reporter a look of severe annoyance. He was probably mad that she interrupted his banter-war. She was a little confused, however, when his expression melted into amusement. "Alright, Miss Ritchi. We can cut to the chase, but you should be aware that destroying Metro Man is not on my agenda today."

Metro Man reached down to the gun holster at his side and brought out his a very familiar weapon. "I've just invented a new setting to my de-gun. It's called 'demoralize'."

Roxanne could see where this was going. With this last of his three new inventions, Megamind would shoot Metro Man in an attempt to, well, demoralize him. He would lose his spirit and determination and resign from his position as a superhero, giving Megamind the opportunity to seize control of Metro City. Apparently, he forgot that none of his de-gun rays ever worked on Metro Man. Even if they did, the superhero would probably fight through the demoralization with the "spirit of justice" or something else just as corny. With a knowing smile on her face, she leaned back into the recliner and waited for the inevitable to take place.

"I wouldn't look so smug if I were you," Megamind said to her. He brought his watch up to his face. "Minion! Code: Restrain Metro Man."

Before anyone could react, a door in the air opened up behind Metro Man and Minion jumped out of it with a jet-black, rifle-sized ray gun in his hands. Metro Man whirled around just in time for Minion to pull the trigger. A sphere of lime-green light blasted out of the gun, kicking Minion back a few inches in recoil. The sphere grew and enveloped Metro Man, forming a swirling, green bubble stuck to the concrete floor.

Metro Man did what most superheroes did when they were trapped by a strange force: try to escape. He aimed a super-strengthened punch at the wall of his bubble, but instead of breaking through, it bounced off like his fist was made out of rubber. He threw a few more punches with similar effects before trying a different tactic. He put two fingers to his temple and fired a beam of laser-vision. The laser beams, instead of burning holes in his prison, reflected off the inside of the bubble and rebounded back on him. He spent a few moments trying to dodge the beams as they wildly reflected, but in the end, they burned a pair of holes through the back of his uniform.

He made one last resort to escape. He crouched to the ground and sprung into flight, colliding with the crown of the bubble. The bubble didn't fly with him, instead preferring to stick to the ground and conform to him like a rubber sheet. Metro Man continued to fly upwards, but the elastic skin prevented him from flying more than about five feet up before snapping him back down. Metro Man hit the floor with a grunt.

Megamind gave a full-hearted laugh. "Minion, please tell me you've set cameras up to record this. This is golden comedy!"

"I made sure of it, Sir. In a few hours, we will be famous over the internet."

Megamind chuckled. "Fantastic. By the way, that was an excellent dramatic entrance back there, jumping out of the Vanishing Box. Including the complete invisibility, it can also apparently fool Metro Man's x-ray vision. If we can find a way to make it mobile, it will be the perfect addition to any evil scheme."

As the two villains talked, Roxanne's eyes were wide in shock. Minion _never_ got involved in the evil schemes. Sure, he helped set them up and maybe tagged along for the ride whenever the inventions were mobile, but he didn't do anything important once the scheme was underway. Megamind would never let someone take the attention away from himself, and yet, he decided to let Minion be an important player in today's plan.

Metro Man picked himself off the ground, striking a defiant pose. Megamind gave another laugh at this. "Face it, Metro Man. You're completely trapped within the confines of my Rubber Bubble."

That was second thing that had surprised Roxanne: the sudden appearance of two other inventions. The door in the air appeared to lead back to the inside of a Minion-sized metal box, the Vanishing Box, she thought it was called. Then, there was that weird Rubber Bubble gun that Minion had fired. Adding that to the watch, the Confiner Recliner, and the new setting on the de-gun left him with a whopping five new inventions for this scheme. Roxanne was a tad impressed at this new record, but it was also making her a little nervous.

"My body might be trapped," Metro Man retorted. "But the spirit of justice will always be free."

"Not for long," Megamind grinned. He raised his de-gun again and twisted the barrel so the gun was on its demoralize setting. He walked over to the Confiner Recliner, taking a casual stance beside his captive. "I wonder, Roxanne, if he'll continue to be so defiant when I'm through with him. The bubble only lasts for about five minutes, but that's all the time I need to crush his spirit." He brought up his de-gun, training it on his nemesis with an evil smirk.

"Do your worst," Metro Man challenged.

"Oh, I intend to." Megamind lowered the gun, then brought it up again to face Roxanne's head at point-blank range.

She felt her heart stop in her chest, then try to catch up by doubling its rate. This was a third thing Megamind never did. Sure, he sometimes ended up training a gun on her at some point, especially when the Chair of Torture was involved, but it was only in an attempt to scare her. He never intended to shoot her with anything until today.

All of Metro Man's defiance fell away. "Roxanne!"

Megamind gave a chuckle. He leaned down and spoke quietly into Roxanne's ear. "There's the rule of three I know you've been looking for. I had more ideas than what could fit into three inventions, so I thought, why not break three rules instead?"

"I…I…" Roxanne found herself unable to come up with a sarcastic response. Megamind knew exactly what she had been expecting and decided to turn those expectations against her. Did all these broken rules mean that he was finally going to win?

Megamind stood up fully again, resting the point of his gun on her temple. "You see, Metro Man, I know fully well that my de-gun can't hurt you, but it_ can_ affect the citizens you are sworn to protect. How much would it crush your spirit to know that I took the one you cared most about – Roxanne – and demoralized her before your very eyes as you lay trapped, unable to save her?

"However, there is more than one meaning to the word 'demoralize'. This device might simply leave her confused, unsure of where she came from or where she is going. It could also destroy her morale and eliminate her steadfast belief in your victory. Or, possibly…" he rested his finger on the trigger, "it could turn her evil, just like me. She would jump at the chance to betray you and tell me all your secrets. Who knows? She might take a page out of Janet's book and dump you, choosing me and my devilish handsomeness instead."

Roxanne tried to squirm away from the gun, but the sticky surface of her chair restrained her better than she had realized. She couldn't even move an inch. Megamind's grin widened at her struggles. "It's no use, you know. After all these years, I've finally found a way to _win_. What do you have to say to that, Miss Ritchi?"

"You'll…" Roxanne swallowed. She found herself very frightened, possibly more afraid of Megamind than she was the first few times he kidnapped her. However, she could never allow herself to break resolve and let him know exactly how scared she was. She drew her face into a sarcastic scowl. "Okay, I admit, I'm impressed," she said in what she hoped was a bored, unworried tone. "But still, there's absolutely no way you can get away with this."

And, of course, Megamind never actually got away with it. Metro Man escaped, defeated him, sent him to prison, and flew Roxanne out of the warehouse before Megamind had the chance to demoralize her. Good always triumphs over evil, after all. Megamind's future plans always resulted in defeat, though he did allow Minion to become more involved with his schemes from that point on.

However, Megamind found joy and fun during the times he was able to impress Roxanne. Over the next couple years, his plans gradually shifted away from ideas that stood a chance of destroying Metro Man and towards things that could get a reaction out of Roxanne's usually-bored expression. Even though he was destined for constant villainous failure, he found that this was a place where he could finally obtain success.

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><p><strong>I'd like to take this opportunity to give one last big thanks to those who reviewed, alerted, favorited, or even just read this story. You have no idea how happy it makes me to know that people out there are taking the time to read something I wrote. I hope you enjoyed the ride.<strong>


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